What came first? The bridal shower, the destination private ceremony, or the reception?
My fiance and I are planning a small, private ceremony this January which will only include the 2 of us, and both sets of parents. Then, we want to have a big celebration reception back home in late May (once our grad school semesters are over). It is now nearly September and I have 3 people who want to collectively throw me a bridal shower. Must it take place before the destination wedding ceremony, or could it be held inbetween the destination wedding and the reception? Any advice from wedding etiquette experts would be greatly appreciated.
Bridal showers come before the marriage ceremony.
The shower comes first. Although if you are having a destination wedding, some people won’t give you a shower. Then comes the destination wedding. By going that route, you forgo any reception at a later date since it is rude to invite people to a reception where they are not allowed to attend the ceremony.
The bridal shower, then the ceremony, then the reception.
Typically, bridal showers happen before the wedding. Let the 3 people throw you bridal showers, more presents for you, lol!
Then you have the destination wedding.
Then you come back to your hometown, or city where you are holding your reception, and have the reception there. For the reception, you could have a slide show from your wedding for everyone to see, and you both dress nice, but not in formal wedding clothes. The groom could wear black pants, and a dress shirt and tie, and you could wear a white cocktail dress. You guys can still have a first dance, and cutting the cake, throwing the boquet and the garter toss. And for speeches, maybe just have a welcoming to the family from your husbands side and your side. Have a supper, then a dance, and party! You don’t want it to be too formal as many people feel if you choose to have a private wedding the reception is greedy. Maybe include on the invitation no gifts. The invitation could read :
“We’re getting ready to depart
on a romantic trip which is only the start
Jane Smith
and
John Doe
will be married on
June 28, 2008
Ocho Rios, Jamaica
Please join us for a reception
when we return
Saturday, August 16 2008
The Marriot Marquis
Times Square, New York
Supper at 6:00
Dance to follow
No gifts please”
Then after supper and before the dance you can have welcoming speeches, then the first dance, then half way through the dance have the bouquet/garter toss, and cutting of the cake.
Congrats!
The shower comes before the wedding, but it’s also true that you can’t throw a “reception” several months later (at least in terms of a typical wedding reception). The point of any wedding reception is to thank your guests for coming to your wedding and participating in your happy event, and etiquette is very clear on this.
Obviously, you can still throw a party in May, but it can’t be connected to your wedding in any way, nor should wedding be mentioned on the invite.
First of all it is not rude to invite people to a reception if they are not invited to a ceremony! Lots of people get eloped or have a very small private ceremony and a large reception later.
Destination weddings also have entirely different etiquette.
I had a mexico wedding. I had a shower, then our private familiy wedding, and then we’re having an “At Home Reception” as they are called.
Check out this site for questions regarding destination weddings and you’ll find all the answers and know you are not alone!
http://bestdestinationwedding.com/forum/index.php?referrerid=5860
It depends upon the need of occurrence. I feel it should be in such order -
1. The Reception
2. Bridal Shower
3. Destination Private Ceremony
Though the order can be shuffled accordingly dependent upon the need and the order of importance a person might give.